“Tell me? Which lunatic asylum
did they get you out of?”
DIRECTOR: Terence Young
STARRING: Sean Connery, Pedro Armendariz, Lotte
Lenya, Robert Shaw, Bernard Lee, Lois Maxwell, Desmond Llewelyn,
Eunice Gayson, and introducing Daniela Bianchi.
SCREENPLAY: Richard Maibaum
CLASSIC SCENE: Escaping from Istanbul on the Orient
Express with Tatiana Romanova (Daniela Bianchi), and carrying Q’s
trick briefcase and the Russian Lektor decoding machine, secret
agent James Bond oo7 is upset to find his friend and travelling
companion Kerim Bey (Pedro Armendariz) has been murdered along with
Russian Security man Benz, whom Kerim had been guarding. Apparently
the two men have killed each other. When the train pauses at Zagreb
to take on passengers, Bond is met by SPECTRE assassin Donald Grant
(Robert Shaw), posing as oo7’s British contact Captain Nash,
who Grant has already killed. Once on board, Grant drugs Tatiana
over a meal in the dining car and the trio retire to Bond’s
compartment where the girl is suddenly overcome with tiredness.
Having spotted Grant slip a tablet into Tania’s glass of champagne,
Bond is suspicious and holds the man at gunpoint, but is tricked
into trusting him when he explains that his escape route is only
for one. While Bond is studying a map of the intended route, he
is knocked unconscious by a vicious blow to the back of the neck
GRANT: Keep still. All right then, get up on your
knees. Put your hands in your pockets. Keep ‘em there.
JAMES BOND: Red wine with fish...well that should
have told me something.
GRANT: You may know the right wines, you’re
the one on your knees. How does it feel old man?
JAMES BOND: Old man? Is that what you chaps in
Smersh call each other?
JAMES BOND: Of course...Spectre. Then it wasn’t
the Russian’s show at all. You’ve been playing us off
against each other, haven’t you? And it was Spectre who killed
the Russian agent in the Mosque. You?
GRANT: Uh huh.
JAMES BOND: Kerim and the other man?
GRANT: Uh huh.
JAMES BOND: And Nash?
GRANT: I don’t mind talking. I get a kick
out of watching the great James Bond finding out what a bloody fool
he’s been making of himself. We’re pros mister Bond.
We sweated your recognition code out of one of your men in Tokyo
before he died. I’ve been keeping tabs on you. I’ve
been your guardian angel. Saved your life at the gypsy camp.
JAMES BOND: Oh yes. I’m much obliged.
GRANT: We were keeping you alive until you could
get us the Lektor.
JAMES BOND: So you had me deliver it on a plate.
Go on, I’m fascinated.
GRANT: Now that we’ve got it you and the
girl are expendable. Between here and Trieste.
JAMES BOND: The girl? Isn’t she working
for Spectre too?
GRANT: No. She thinks she’s doing it all
for Mother Russia. She takes her orders from Colonel Klebb.
JAMES BOND: Rosa Klebb’s Russian, head of
operations for Smersh.
GRANT: Was. Klebb works for Spectre now. The girl
doesn’t know that.
JAMES BOND: Well then why kill her?
GRANT: Orders. That’s only half of it, old
man. Here’s a roll of film. She’ll have this in her
handbag. And on you, they’ll find this letter.
It’s from her, threatening to give the film to the press unless
you marry her for helping you get the Lektor.
JAMES BOND: What film?
GRANT: Taken in the bridal suite at your hotel.
Something else the girl didn’t know about – or you!
JAMES BOND: Must be a pretty sick collection of
minds to dream up a plan like that.
GRANT: You see the headlines? ‘British Agent
Murders Beautiful Russian Spy Then Commits Suicide’.
JAMES BOND: Tell me? Which lunatic asylum did
they get you out of?
GRANT: Don’t make it any tougher on yourself.
(Grant backhand slaps Bond hard round the face). My orders are to
kill you and deliver the Lektor. How I do it’s my business.
It’ll be slow and painful.
JAMES BOND: How much are they paying you?
GRANT: What’s it to you?
JAMES BOND: We’ll double it.
GRANT: Your word of honour...as an English, gentleman?
The first one won’t kill you, not the second, not even the
third. Not till you crawl over here and you kiss my foot!
JAMES BOND: How about a cigarette?
GRANT: Not a chance.
JAMES BOND: I’ll pay for it.
GRANT: What with?
JAMES BOND: 50 gold sovereigns.
GRANT: Where are they?
JAMES BOND: Up there in my case?
GRANT: You show me.
JAMES BOND: Here you are. What about that cigarette?
GRANT: Throw ‘em down there. Any more in
the other case?
JAMES BOND: I should imagine so, it’s a
standard kit I’ll have a look.
GRANT: Put your hands back in your pockets.
(Grant opens the case and the Q Branch teargas cartridge explodes
in his face. All hell breaks loose in one of the all-time great
screen fight scenes.)